Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
