Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
