I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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