what day is it and did you see me today?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
