Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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