I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
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