just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize