He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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