i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize