Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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