Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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