Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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