Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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