You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
