what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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