I'm going to jail i love you
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
