ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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