i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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