By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
