when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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