okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
