____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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