he thought i was a dude.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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