So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
