hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
