i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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