We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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