i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
