I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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