Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
