so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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