He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She told me I should be a condom model.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
