Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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