Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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