Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
