OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
