i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
