Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
