Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
