We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
