What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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