There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
