i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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