where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
