He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
