Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
