my vag is so smooth its legendary
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
