I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
