she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
