Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize