So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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