hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
...so i touched it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
