anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
