Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The air taste purple.
Randomize
