I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
