Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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