she woke up with a sticky ear
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
