it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
