dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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