i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
