He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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