I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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