Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
