what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
