She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
