Im at strip club and am horny
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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