I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
