Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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