Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
