if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
