i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
