big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
