I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
